Friday, August 17, 2012

Husbands with opinions (and other annoyances)

Well, it's been a while between posts over here at Betsy's and it's all because there are goings on and also not so much going on at the same time. You see we are culling and sorting and giving away and selling on ebay in every spare minute that we have over here, but photos of my boot full of bags destined for the oppie were not inspiring a blog post.

 I do find that whenever I ruthlessly rifle through the kids stuff and give it away I am rewarded with op shop treasures. Hence the little trio of vintage sheets from my very local oppie that has never before produced sheets in the 2 years I have been visiting. All neatly folded and tagged and wrapped up with pink ribbon.

I even found the pink and yellow version of the purple and green floral that I  found months ago at the beach.

And the not much going on? Well that would be anything crafty, my overdue tax and our house plans. After taking nearly six months to actually agree on a floorplan, Legoman and I have kind of stalled on the details. Quite a few of the details in fact. The entire problem has arisen because Legoman has opinions on interior design. And is quite stubborn about it all. I am spending days fantasizing about him working on an oil rig whereby he would be away for months of the year while  sending back wads of cash for me to recklessly lavish on laundry splashbacks and undermount sinks. He would wipe his smelly, oily hands on his overalls and skype things like "Love, I'm not much into that design malarky, you just order whatever frosted glass pantry door takes your fancy".

The current list of items unable to be agreed upon is extensive and includes:

1. The freestanding stove- Eventually he will realize that I am not going to back down on this one just because he does not like the knobs

2. The kitchen bench thickness - who knew that was a whole debate topic in its own right and I am in  trouble with this one as he even has pictures stored in his ipad of the desired bench

3. The kitchen tap- I am actually prepared to give in on this one but plan to hold out to the last minute for leverage on other items

4. The entire vibe of the kitchen- he wants minimalist contemporary, I want a fusion of this plus vintage, hamptons,scandi,and farmhouse.  I plan to confound him with the sheer confusion of such a fusion and hope that he is willing to give this up for the tap that changes colour with hot and cold water.

5. The size and position of the TV- which then unfortunately has a flow on effect on the whole lounge room arrangement and window positioning. I now see that having only the tap as leverage is creating a problem

6. The laundry splashback- I can sense weakening on this front though, victory may be swift and absolute.

And you thought that Women's Olympic hurdle final was tense? That split second victory by Sally Pearson has nothing on the atmosphere over here at Betsy's.
I hadn't even included all the things that we don't agree on simply because neither of us can decide what to choose. That would include all the doors and windows, the back wall of the kitchen, storage and where the heck we are going to live when we go ahead with it all.

On a more positive note all this selling of unwanted stuff has generated $1600 towards the lovely freestanding stove that we can't agree on. And Legoman has designed the best walk in pantry a girl could ask for. And we have new building designer who uses a computer (instead of drawing everything by hand!) and the plans are due back in a week. We are hoping that having some 3D walkthrough images will solve some of these tricky decisions.

I think this was my first ranting post. Every girl needs a good rant every now and again I think.

Anyone else out there have husbands who like to meddle?
Or all you all lucky enough to have ones that say "Yes dear" while they take another call on their phone or start constructing that window seat you sketched on a serviette?


  1. I'm a fan of the oil-rig scenario...I've cunningly let my husband have his way with decorating our current house which leaves me in sole charge of the next (bigger and better) house...

  2. This post really made me chuckle!
    I'm lucky in that I just 'get on with it', we could literally live in a hole in the ground and Mr Bea would not bat an eye! On the minus side he's not in the slightest bit practical, he hates DIY and so nothing gets done unless I do it or pay someone! We all like our little Rants! Good luck with the discussions! Ada :)

  3. Oh I feel your pain!! This is why me and my partner aren't married - every time we've talked about a wedding he starts having his own opinions, like 'we'll just invite family'!!! Um, what's the point of having the biggest party of our lives if we can't invite our friends?! It's like he didn't get the memo that said men should mainly keep out of this sort of thing, apart from to pay for it (I know I sound like a vile Bridezilla, but I'm really not - all I want is our 50 closest friends and family and their kids, some booze and nice food and music. Oh and of course a ring and a nice dress).

    I like your leverage idea though, I think I'll start chucking in a few random demands that I can strategically back down on later! xx

  4. I hear you...sportscar driving fashionisto Jason has opinions and follows through on them without appropriate consultation...our downstairs area is lacking windows as a result!
    Anyway, I'm sure you'll get 80% of what you want. And if hubby wants a minimalist kitchen, he should've bought a minimalist house not a Queenslander Californian Bungalow!!

  5. Big laughs!... I know your predicament all too well. Hasn't he heard the saying "Happy Wife, Happy Life?" I fought for YEARS to come back to Brisbane (and I almost left him several times during our "discussions" about it). We too have argued over the details of our impending reno, but amazingly he has turned into your fantasy - however mine involves underground mining. Mark doesn't cook or do laundry, so in my opinion he doesn't get a say. xx

  6. Funny. I was at the opposite end of desperate when we were getting our house done - because I was making quite a few decisions by myself and it was lonely :)

  7. Bahaaaa I feel your pain Mel. My man has an opinion as well! I was pregnant with no 3 when we were building our home and it was all a bit too hard for my hormonal emotional state so I just left it all up to my hubby...he did a great job with the bones but there are some missing details. Next time maybe.. Best of luck with your negotiations. Funny post! Superb sheets. I still love the purple and green floral.

  8. I don't mean to laugh at your frustrations but your post was very funny. I never knew you could buy taps that change colour with hot and cold water.
    I am very fortunate that my husband and I have similar tastes and ideas. It does make life easier. However, he certainly wouldn't mind if I had less "stuff" around the place.
    Good luck
    Oh, every girl needs a rant every now and again :)

  9. Such an enjoyable read! I too did not know there were issues like kitchen bench thickness!! Ps great sheet finds: love the pink & purple design.

  10. Oh goodness a non-compliant husband is the last thing any good woman needs! So far mine has been pretty non-commital about anything...fingers crossed with will all happen so fast that he won't have realised what has happened and I get my vision! Looking forward to seeing your plans and pics - thanks for looking at mine. Your comment a couple of months ago re space next to cooktop did prompt some reworking - so much appreciated! In the end I decided to put an induction stovetop in the 3.5m breakfast bar - is seemed roomy enough!

  11. LOL does your husband read your blog? My husband is more of the "yes, dear, whatever colour/style/furniture arrangement you want" type, but does have some opinions lol. Hope you can sort out your differences and get on with it! Yey for you selling stuff! I still have a pile of stuff I have been planning to sell since about December ...

  12. I'd have to say I have one of those "whatever love" men but it comes with it's own set of problems. What should we have for takeaway..."whatever love", tea or coffee?..."whatever love", black or white..."whatever love". ALthough it gives me free rein on descision making in the interior design department it also means I have to make every bloddy descision! Anyhoo..should'nt moan. Yay to your clean out and loot. And yay to your local oppie and those yummy sheets. Hope you have a lovely weekend :)

  13. Ha ha!
    Can my husband join yours on that oil rig?

    Our last little mini renovation was our bathroom.
    It was all actually going well until we realised that Reece had given us the wrong measurements for the sink we ordered and so it wasn't going to fit well beneath the taps.
    I went out and found another sink...a gorgeous and expensive sink...of course I still get grief about this sink today.

    And I love the idea of selling old things to raise money for a stove!

  14. I love a good rant. Sounds likes it is all starting to come together for you now though which is great.x

  15. Ps. Love the sheets - especially the matching pair!

  16. We had similar discussions over kitchen bench thickness and after I won the battle for 30mm our cabinet maker ended up mucking up the size of our kick boards which meant we had no choice but to resort to the 20mm bench tops which my husband had wanted in the first place!!! I hate negotiating on design ideas! I can't help but wonder if my hubby whispered in the ear of the cabinet maker!! Haha happy decision making

  17. Mel this post is so funny. I too would have loved the oil rig scenario! Good luck ..... F x

  18. Mel, if you work out how to get the husband onto an oil-rig, can you post some instructions?? Isn't that every harassed wife's dream! Or is that just me...

    I must admit that my husband is enough of the "whatever love" variety that we're still married! And what mostly helped speed up any discussions was the fact that bub was 5 days old when the builders started ripping apart our backyard to lay the slab... A screaming newborn was a great way to make a sudden decision...!

  19. I don't have a husband but a do have a wife!!....eek I hear you say...two women trying to decide on something!!. Luckily our style likes and dislikes are the same ( most of the time) my wife Niccy hates shopping so I tend to get the upper hand that way....oh and she is currently applying for a mining win!!

  20. Oh poor Mel! Lego man didn't get the memo, that whom ever cleans and maintains it is the one that make final decisions on it. Over here, that means Mr. Muddle makes decisions on vehicles and the garages. I am also very lucky that he is the "yes dear" type, and works in the oil patch, and we share very similar tastes and sensibilities. It is a novelty when we disagree on something! My lament though is that we met so late in life. There are many things we will never be able to do. On the flip side, we treasure our time together. It is the most precious gift.

  21. love your little bundles :)
    good luck with the persuading x x x x

  22. How did I miss this one, Mel? Mine drives me nuts with his design ideas. We just don't do the stuff we can't agree on . Occasioionally when he's on one of his trips I'll do something drastic . I have big plans for this Dec! The whole front patio is a compromise for me but I sucked it up in exchange for another win on an inside area. You have to pick your battles, huh?

  23. You did find yourself some love bits of pretty there Mel and yeah for a tidy sum to buy a stove. I'm sure everything will eventually fall into place but it's not easy doing a reno. My hubby is a bit of both things like dinner etc he's like sure whatever but design if he doesn't like my idea he definitely will let me know about it;) Hope it all goes well, love the idea of a walk in pantry:) xxx

  24. Totally get the argument about the kitchen bench thickness! Love this post, it is absolutely priceless and you write so well. Were you a writer/journo/editor/publisher something or other in a former career? xx

  25. Haha brilliant! I couldn't agree more about the meddling, I know that too well!